Perfectionism, binge eating, & shame in depression::part 1

(davaun tamar photography::model::brittany reinhard)

"You will never do anything in this world without courage. It is the greatest quality of the mind next to honor." Aristotle  

When I was a kid, I saw an I Love Lucy episode that struck me, and stuck with me.
It was the episode where Ricky and the Mertzes wager that Lucy can't go a full day without telling a lie. Well, she ends up at a friends house to play cards, and becomes brutally honest with everyone because she can't lie. She realizes how freeing it is to be so honest, and ends up loving it.

I remember watching Brené Brown's TED Talk a few years ago, and that struck me as well.
I didn't quite understand what she meant, but I could actually feel the "power in her vulnerability."

I don't think its wise or healthy to dwell on negative things, and for me, its easy to obsess over anything that is wrong with myself, and to do everything in my power to make it right.
But that never gets me anywhere.
I believe in trusting God with our problems and acknowledging we are new creations because of Jesus, no longer stuck in sin but free to be who we were made to be through the renewing of our minds.
HOWEVER, I believe God has asked me to be vulnerable and open in areas that I've struggled with and still do struggle with, in this blog.

I've always been an honest person, and could rarely ever keep secrets or bottle up my feelings.
But I've never publicly talked about what I'm about to dive into.
I feel like it is something that needs to be talked about, especially in the church.
There is this unreal fantasy that christians are joyful 24/7, are never addicted to anything, except for reading the bible, and they don't ever struggle with anything ever. Which we all know isn't true, but we like to keep our secrets a little more locked up than the average heathen, to be sure we don't get stones blasted at us, from…each other.

What a freeing idea that authenticity and humility more often than not, will find you lots of open arms, ready to say, "I love you even more now", and "oh my god, me too".
This blog is therapeutic for myself, but if just one person can feel like they are not alone, and they are not a freak, that we are all human, and we all share the same kinds of pain in different packages, then to me? its worth it.
Shedding light on the grody stuff takes away it's power and transparency opens the door to freedom.
So lets just get real, shall we?

Part 2